The Lancashire Poetry Relay Team
  • Home
  • Shop
  • Where You Can See Us!
  • Lancashire Day 2024
  • Balshaw Court March 2025
  • Contact Us
  • More Pictures
  • More
    • Home
    • Shop
    • Where You Can See Us!
    • Lancashire Day 2024
    • Balshaw Court March 2025
    • Contact Us
    • More Pictures
  • Sign In
  • Create Account

  • Bookings
  • Orders
  • My Account
  • Signed in as:

  • filler@godaddy.com


  • Bookings
  • Orders
  • My Account
  • Sign out

The Lancashire Poetry Relay Team

Signed in as:

filler@godaddy.com

  • Home
  • Shop
  • Where You Can See Us!
  • Lancashire Day 2024
  • Balshaw Court March 2025
  • Contact Us
  • More Pictures

Account


  • Bookings
  • Orders
  • My Account
  • Sign out


  • Sign In
  • Bookings
  • Orders
  • My Account

SUSAN OSBORNE - THE LANCASHIRE LASS

More Useless Information about The Lancashire Lass herself

 

Like many other authors, I guess, the confines of Covid and hours to spare, lead me to put together my first collection of witty verse, working with Sarah Bailey Cartoons, who provided some hilarious illustrations.

 Four and a half years later, I have 3 collections;

'A Laff From Lancashire'   'Another Laff From Lancashire'  and  'More Laffs From Lancashire'   (You can see I was super inventive with the titles)

My next plan is to re-release all three as one jumbo anthology, which hopefully will be out before Christmas, or certainly early next year.

This year, I have been working on a project to develop a collection of witty verse about getting older and becoming a pensioner. This has involved performing to groups of Lancashire’s elderly folk, then having a good old chinwag over tea and biscuits. The experience has been entertaining and inspirational. My collection of ‘pensioner poems’ is well underway now with an aim to be available later in 2025.

 For the past 18 months, I have been performing my poems at open mic sessions and events throughout the county, and thoroughly connecting with my ‘Peggy from Hi De Hi’ inner self….I just love having an audience!

Pam Ayers remains my main inspiration and I was thrilled to see her live at this year’s poetry festival in Morecambe.


This is where you can find me!

You can find me on Instagram:

https://www.facebook.com/SusansLancashireLaffs 

or Facebook:

https://www.instagram.com/susanosborne602022

Lots of poems and videos for you to enjoy if you fancy a chuckle, just look me up. Let me put a smile on yer face, go on, ave a laff wi a Lancashire Lass 🙂 

Nitty Nora

Nitty Nora Video and Words

Nitty Nora

 

 ‘Nitty Nora the bug explorer’

School visitor in days long gone,

When pupils queued outside ‘er door

To be examined, one by one.

 She must ‘ave been tall, or we wer quite small,

Cos she towered above us you see,

With ‘er knobbly ‘ands in ower ‘airy ‘eads,

We wer subjected to close scrutiny.

 She looked fer eggs and creepy crawlies,

That could live upon ower scalps,

And if she found some evidence,

It really made us yelp.

 We felt such shame if we wer infested

And to ower mums ran ‘ome.

Ower ‘eads got washed in Derbac soap

And ower ‘air was combed and combed.

 All cleaned and all t’ nits expelled,

Back at school, th’ ordeal was over,

Until t’ next time ower school got a visit

From that dreaded, Nitty Nora!


Copyright © 2025 The Lancashire Poetry Relay Team - All Rights Reserved.

Powered by

  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms and Conditions
  • More about Chris
  • More about Sid
  • More about Ellvie
  • More About Sue
  • Where You Can See Us!

This website uses cookies.

We use cookies to analyze website traffic and optimize your website experience. By accepting our use of cookies, your data will be aggregated with all other user data.

DeclineAccept